My favorite room...

My favourite room is the cosy, self contained room that lies within the realms of my over active imagination. It is like a tardis inside, or more accurately, I suppose, like Wonderland.

One minute there is just enough room for me contently curled up warm and snug on the world's comfiest bean bag, reading endless books and munching my way through delicious food that handily keeps appearing from nowhere.

The next, I suddenly feel alone, surrounded by deepest green water. A brood of baby sharks are playfully piercing holes in my barely floating beanbag. Oh, bugger! I'm falling into the ocean and I can't swim - agh!

My favourite room is also my most feared...

If you paid me enough, I might sing this song at a karaoke bar

That Day by Natalie Imbruglia

I would embarrass (is that really how it's spelt?) myself with this song because, like much of Ms Imbruglia's work it is beautiful but also a challenge to sing and breathe at the same time - plus my partner (DFH) loves to hear me sing it trying to remember the lyrics and who am I to disappoint... hmmmm...

And so it goes: "Well, that day, that day, what a mess, what a marvel. I walked into that cloud again and I lost myself. And I'm sad, sad, sad, small, alone and scared, craving purity and a fragile mind and a gentle spirit. That day, that day, what a marvelous mess. Well this is all that I can do. I'm done to be me - sad, scared, small, alone and beautiful. It's supposed to like this. I accept everything. It's supposed to be like this..."

Natalie's lyrics are dynamite. In this potent epic poem of a song, she describes perfectly that sense of desperately trying to fight the often overwhelming negative thoughts and feelings of despair that life will sometimes insist on throwing our way. Do you recognise the feeling? You find yourself suddenly swallowed up by an ocean of emptiness, pulled deep down under the dark pounding waves of loneliness and futility, utterly alone and more miserable than a weekful of Mondays.

As you begin to sink under the weight of all the world's sadness however, a minor life-saving miracle takes place and you suddenly remember how to swim. With each stroke you repeat your mantras - I AM beautiful. EVERYTHING happens for a reason. It's SUPPOSED to be like this - breathing in the sweet air of instant comfort that they bring.

Cliched phrases these mantras may be, but those powerful words not only offer a life line, they force it into your hands. You cling for dear life as another wave blows over your head knowing that if you can just hold on, sooner or later you WILL find yourself on the beach once more. Exhausted and bewhildered perhaps, but on solid ground none-the-less.

Complete lyrics (how I hear them):
"Well that day, that day, what a mess, what a marvel.
I walked into that cloud again and I lost myself.
And I'm sad, sad, sad, small, alone and scared,
Craving purity and a fragile mind and a gentle spirit.

That day, that day, what a marvelous mess.
Well this is all that I can do. I'm done to be me.
Sad, scared, small, alone and beautiful. It's supposed to like this.
I accept everything. It's supposed to be like this.

That day, that day I lay down beside myself
In this feeling of pain and sad and scared and small
And find me crawling towards the light and it's all that I see
And I'm tired and I'm right and I'm wrong and it's beautiful.

That day, that day, what a mess, what a marvel,
We're all the same but no-one thinks so.
And it's okay and I'm small and I'm divine
And it's beautiful and it's coming and it's already here and it's absolutely perfect.

Well that day, that day when everything was a mess
When everything was in place and it's too much hurt
Sad and small and scared, alone
And everyone's a cynic and it's hard and it's sweet but it's supposed to be like this.

Well that day, that day when I sat in the sun
And I thought and I cried cos I'm sad, scared, small, alone, strong
And I'm nothing and I'm true.
Only a great man can break through. And it's all okay. Yeah, it's okay.

That day, that day when I lay down beside myself
In this feeling of pain and sad and scared and small
And find me crawling towards the light and it's all that I see
And I'm tired and I'm right and I'm wrong and it's beautiful

That day, that day, what a mess, what a marvelous mess.
We're all the same but no-one thinks so.
And it's okay and I'm small and I'm divine
And it's beautiful and it's coming and it's already here and it's absolutely perfect.

So sweet, can you feel it?
Are you here? Are you with me?
I can feel it? And it's beautiful."

by Natalie Imbruglia
on White Lilies Island
Watch That Day on YouTube